The Mind Game

One thing I've learned over the last two months is that running is mostly mental. Yeah, the lungs have to get more efficient and the heart has to do it's beating thing, and the legs have to cooperate, but nothing can affect a run more than my mental state.

Take for example yesterday's run. It was my first LONG RUN, and I was pumped. I got up at the ungodly-for-a-Saturday 7:00, scarfed down a bowl of cereal, and went to running group. I ran just under 4 miles, which for me was pretty amazing, and I felt great. There were hills and hills, each one a little longer than the next, yet, I ran the whole thing pretty easily. I felt great, energized, and convinced that running would be a part of my life forever.

Then today came. I looked forward to running group all day. It finally came, and we went for a quick half hour run, and I felt like my legs were a ton of bricks. I don't know why. I don't know if I didn't eat right for dinner (chicken and mashed potatoes), if it was the tightness I felt in my calves (it loosened up nicely yesterday), or if it was something else. I don't know what it was, but I had probably the worst run of my short running career.

I spent half the time doubting myself that I could really do this for the long haul. I chastized myself for allowing myself (I feel like Austin Powers) to get into the shape that I am in now. I was just really frustrated. Afterwards, we all congregated for ice cream (Hoffman's, yum) and talked about goals. I thought about what my goals are for my little adventure.

I don't aim to ever run a marathon, but if I do, that's the icing on the cake.
I don't aim to be fast, although I would like to run a sub 10:00 mile.
I don't want to raise my children to be sedentary. I want them to develop a lifelong love of exercise. And what better way to do that than to teach by example? I guess that is my main long term goal.
I do want to lose 25 lbs or so. That would be nice. And if I could fit back into a size 4, that would be even better.

Which takes me back to the mind game. My biggest enemy is myself. I have to learn to ignore that voice who starts doubting that I can do it. That doubts that I can go longer, faster, stronger than yesterday. My lifelong goal would be to hit the mute button on that voice. When it starts, ignore it and keep going.

I told my husband tonight that a bad run is still better than no run at all. I guess my saying that is a good start. Take that, voice.